This a time of year that I rarely sleep well. It's as if the length of night leaves me without clear enough parameters as to know when to sleep.
Thursday morning, around 2:00 AM I gave up and put on an interview with Carrie Newcomer to listen to. About half way through, still listening, but not quite attentive, a few words caught my attention "Geography of light," and "lean into the light." Going back later to look closer I found:
"It's all shadow and light. You know, there's a lot of sorrows in this world. And, maybe that's part of how I negotiate that. I think when you're sensitive to the sorrows of this world and you've experienced shadows in your own life that you can do different things with it. You can despair. You can shut down or you kind of lean into the light. Without denying or placing in a compartment or making small this idea of shadow, it's just there. It's life. It's all of it. It's all of the above." Carrie Newcomer
And this song, "Bare to the Bone," (lyrics are typed out at the link) which is just beautiful...
And a little bit more of the interview...
But something happens, the room shifts when people sing together. And they sing out loud things, words and phrases, that touch something deep and human and hopeful.
And I wanted to write a song that talked about hope, but not in a greeting card kind of way. You know, there's the kind of hope that's like wishful thinking. And then there's like a hope that's kind of gritty. It's like, the kind of hope that gets up every morning and chooses to try to make the world just a little kinder place in your own way.
Going back to listen again. How wonderful that we can do that.
Feild notes: Rain hard enough to hear it striking the chimney (flood watch again), wind 21-29 MPH SSE. Sunrise: 8:00 Sunset 4:15.
"I see that the life of this place is always emerging beyond expectation or prediction or typicality, that it is unique, given to the world minute by minute, only once, never to be repeated. And this is where I see that life is a miracle, absolutely worth having, absolutely worth saving. We are alive within mystery, by miracle." Wendell Berry
How it feels at that moment when the clouds clear and the sunlight comes through and creates a moment of light and shadow.
How the making of something can hold love. What it means to make something by hand.
My poncho is 60 inches of cloth. Layers of color and texture; it feels like a hug. It has the capacity to absorb.
It holds gifts from friends and family, memories and reclaims things that might be considered waste. It may shed some of them as time passes. It holds story. And will find more.
It holds time spent being present. Listening (mostly to On Being and to Jude) and thinking. In this way it holds thoughts, dreams, schemes and "what if". And it holds silence, a still mind, something I've come to appreciate more as I've become older.
The casual observer won't know what my story is, but they will be able to create their own..